Title and description liberally borrowed from Mark Twain's The Innocents Abroad.

12.21.2008

Home Again!

So after 5 days of depression and packing and chaos and canceled flights and crazy old people...I'm home!

Here's what I wrote yesterday in JFK:

I’m sitting near this crazy old lady waiting for my flight from JFK. She keeps asking everyone if they’re going to Maine. She’s nuts. She just talked to this one guy:

“Are you going to Maine?”
“Yup.”
“Do you live there?”
“Yup, in Gorham”
“Oh that’s great. What are you doing down here?”
“I’m stationed here, I’m in the Navy.”
“Oh you’re in the service! You should be wearing your uniform, it would get you to the front of the line. Not during Vietnam, but now.”

Really, lady? She hasn’t shut her mouth since she sat down: “is that seat open? I’m old. Let me sit down.” She’s not even that old. Maybe in her 60s.

“Go ask one of those girls. Put your Navy hat on and go ask them.”

She cackles like an old witch.

There’s also a legit cowboy standing in front of me. With a huge HUGE probably like 5 inches across belt buckle and actual boots and jeans and a teal plaid shirt and a vest and a cowboy hat. Either he just rode his horse here or is really into making fashion statements.

This place is absolute chaos. They’re boarding like 8 different flights out of the same gate, there are people that I swear have been here all night at least, and everyone just looks so dejected and forlorn and pissed off. Welcome back, kids. Welcome back. (The End.)

So here's what happened. JFK was a shit show. We were lucky enough to get on our plane, and then proceeded to sit at the gate while they couldn't figure out whether or not we had a tug, or a de=icer, or gas, and there was airplane traffic, and after three hours of this nonsense they let us off the plane and decided it was canceled. So a few of us rented a car and trucked it up to Maine - but the trip that should have been 5 hours ended up being 7 and a half because of weather and bad roads. Not only that, but this one old guy we were driving with was legit crazy. He was 71, and lived in Nashville, and kept telling us about his life in the music industry and his family and country music and was basically just crazy. He wore all this silver and turquoise jewelry and had a thick southern drawl. It was nuts. Quite a welcome back, I have to say.

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