Initial Criteria
1. Must have a car.
2. Must have a full set of teeth.
Dealbreakers/makers; beyond initial criteria, dealbreakers will, of course, break the deal.
1. Listening to Creed or Nickelback: dealbreaker
2. Being arrested more than once: dealbreaker
3. If you're Lindsey's age and you live with your parents, deal's off
4. Illegitimate child: you're done.
5. Chance likes interesting teeth and Mary likes interesting noses.
6. Overbearing and jealous: dealbreaker
7. If, as a male, you have a Starbucks order that takes more than 10 syllables. If you have to explain to me how to make your drink while listening to Nickelback, it's over.
8. Cargo pants (no one's gotten laid in cargo pants since 'Nam)
9. Pics of Paris Hilton and you on your computer, we're done.
10. You must be able to grow facial hair. Otherwise, you're not a man.
11. Jam bands can go either way, but if you'd rather drop acid and float around in skirts we're probably not down.
12. If you do or have slept with a girl more than ten years younger than you, get a reality check. You're a sugar daddy and a pedophile. Get over yourself.
13. Something about the color yellow
14. As females, we have the right and prerogative to take longer to get ready than you.
15. No public ear, bellybutton, nose, or toenail picking.
16. Can't talk with your mouth full, and should take at least two showers a week.
17. "Control freaks are totally out." - Starbucks patron
18. Musicians, especially those who play the piano, are particularly sexy to Lindsey.
19. Is willing and able to buy a lady dinner
20. You must be taller than we are. Preferably by two to three inches.
21. Must engage with us on our intellectual level which is, inevitably, higher than yours.
22. Park rats, skittles, hipsters, hippies, metrosexuals, cowboys, douchebags, diehard hunters/fishermen, ravers, assholes, commitmentphobes, squares, junkies, gymnasts, ice dancers, ski school instructors, dependants, trustafarians, and types of many other varieties NEED NOT APPLY.
Compiled by Lindsey, Mary, and Audrey.
2.27.2010
A Terrifying Sign of Maturity
Tonight is 80's night at our favorite local bar. How can I say no? Leggings, big hair, tacky sweater...sounds like my kind of evening!
Drawbacks: Compounded lack of sleep and the beginnings of a cold and the daunting 9-hour day (again) at work tomorrow and the newly discovered $5 cover charge. HECK no.
Decision: Probably not tonight. Bummer!
The clincher, if I am to tell all, is really because I want to ski on Monday. My plan is to demo skis because I want to buy cheap skis at the end of the season. I will be TERRIBLY upset if I am sick or overtired or hungover on Monday and cannot ski. Such is the life of a ski bum.
Drawbacks: Compounded lack of sleep and the beginnings of a cold and the daunting 9-hour day (again) at work tomorrow and the newly discovered $5 cover charge. HECK no.
Decision: Probably not tonight. Bummer!
The clincher, if I am to tell all, is really because I want to ski on Monday. My plan is to demo skis because I want to buy cheap skis at the end of the season. I will be TERRIBLY upset if I am sick or overtired or hungover on Monday and cannot ski. Such is the life of a ski bum.
2.26.2010
I'd Rather Be Bouncing a SuperBall
Dedicated to Mary, the future chief of the Cherokee Nation.
Random thoughts on curls:
We are more resilient.
More creative.
More wild.
More likely to bounce superballs at work and lose them under the giant fridge. And crawl on hands and knees and dig through months of dirt and dust to find it again. Anything for the superball!
Working silly jobs is worth it when you wake up to views of the snowy continental divide, knowing you can play hooky and ski all day if you (really) want to. Don't worry, I haven't. The point is, though, I could.
We are smarter than you. We are happier than you.
Random thoughts on curls:
We are more resilient.
More creative.
More wild.
More likely to bounce superballs at work and lose them under the giant fridge. And crawl on hands and knees and dig through months of dirt and dust to find it again. Anything for the superball!
Working silly jobs is worth it when you wake up to views of the snowy continental divide, knowing you can play hooky and ski all day if you (really) want to. Don't worry, I haven't. The point is, though, I could.
We are smarter than you. We are happier than you.
2.21.2010
Liquor Up (Mature Audiences Only)
I have just been told that I am a better drinking buddy than baker. Not sure how to take it. I did just make some more fabulous brownies. Threw in a little coffee and Aleppo pepper for good measure; I feel like I make brownies every other day now.
On the other hand, we did create a fabulous cocktail* for which, as Dan says, the technical name would be a "Perfect Rum Cocktail"; half each dry and sweet vermouth, simple syrup, Gosling's, Angostura bitters, and a grapefruit peel. "You forgot the 'how awesome of a drinking buddy Dan is part'." Thank goodness we stocked our "liquor cabinet" last week; $150 worth.
*Cocktail: Liquor, Sweet, Bitter. The End.
On the other hand, we did create a fabulous cocktail* for which, as Dan says, the technical name would be a "Perfect Rum Cocktail"; half each dry and sweet vermouth, simple syrup, Gosling's, Angostura bitters, and a grapefruit peel. "You forgot the 'how awesome of a drinking buddy Dan is part'." Thank goodness we stocked our "liquor cabinet" last week; $150 worth.
*Cocktail: Liquor, Sweet, Bitter. The End.
2.12.2010
Shred the Gnar
All of a sudden people have decided to go skiing, which in turn means I've been exponentially (or perhaps linearly) more busy with work. I'm currently operating with one day off a week, although next week I've swung having two in a row. Unfortunately Monday is President's Day so that's out for skiing. Tuesday will have to be epic.
As far as skiing goes, although my skiing-all-star friends don't believe me, I've gotten far better at it. You can pretty much put me anywhere on the mountain (again, except the Cirque) and I'll be fine. It might take me a few minutes but I'll make it. A good example of this is Trestle.
Trestle is a pretty gnarly, long, mogul-studded black diamond on the Jane side of the mountain (best bumps in North America!). After a foray through some trees the other day I was unexpectedly shot out at the top of Trestle and Roundhouse, a blue groomer. Boo, hiss. Being by myself with no one to judge or laugh, I decided Trestle it was.
And it was awesome. February has been a bit improved over the last few months as far as snow, so the few inches of fresh powder felt awesome under ski. When I reached the bottom after several teasing flat spots I was high as a kite. It was by far my best run of the season up until then, and a major confidence booster. Take that, naysayers!
A few days later, I brought boy with me. Taking the same indeterminate route through the trees we ended up at the Roundhouse/Trestle split. My disclaimer: "I know I talked a big game about Trestle but it's still really hard. I'll probably fall a lot. But we're doing it anyway."
And of course I didn't fall a lot. Two hours later he turns to me and says, "It was about halfway down Trestle that I realized that's what 'shredding the gnar' really means."
Yeah, we shred that gnar. Shred some serious gnar.
As far as skiing goes, although my skiing-all-star friends don't believe me, I've gotten far better at it. You can pretty much put me anywhere on the mountain (again, except the Cirque) and I'll be fine. It might take me a few minutes but I'll make it. A good example of this is Trestle.
Trestle is a pretty gnarly, long, mogul-studded black diamond on the Jane side of the mountain (best bumps in North America!). After a foray through some trees the other day I was unexpectedly shot out at the top of Trestle and Roundhouse, a blue groomer. Boo, hiss. Being by myself with no one to judge or laugh, I decided Trestle it was.
And it was awesome. February has been a bit improved over the last few months as far as snow, so the few inches of fresh powder felt awesome under ski. When I reached the bottom after several teasing flat spots I was high as a kite. It was by far my best run of the season up until then, and a major confidence booster. Take that, naysayers!
A few days later, I brought boy with me. Taking the same indeterminate route through the trees we ended up at the Roundhouse/Trestle split. My disclaimer: "I know I talked a big game about Trestle but it's still really hard. I'll probably fall a lot. But we're doing it anyway."
And of course I didn't fall a lot. Two hours later he turns to me and says, "It was about halfway down Trestle that I realized that's what 'shredding the gnar' really means."
Yeah, we shred that gnar. Shred some serious gnar.
2.04.2010
Mundane-ity
Excellent skiing today, all things considered. The one inch of reported powder turned out to be closer to 4+ and it kept snowing all day. Low point: white out at the top of Panoramic and strong winds. High point: basically everything else. Trees, bumps, it was all soft and fabulous and the silence of the falling snow...
...which, all told, made it an excellent night to make some bread. And realizing it was Thursday and tomorrow is Friday (hey, you never know) I have also set my first high-altitude challah to rise. I think it should be delicious, but then, is challah ever not?
...which, all told, made it an excellent night to make some bread. And realizing it was Thursday and tomorrow is Friday (hey, you never know) I have also set my first high-altitude challah to rise. I think it should be delicious, but then, is challah ever not?
(Pretentious) Existential Angst
Consider yourself warned.
Excessive mental angst and waffling about the path I want my life to take. But do I really have any control over that?
A few phone interviews for "opportunities" in the Middle East and I have been philosophizing about this whole way of life. Of course, taking the "real" job at the do-gooder organization is nothing to sniff at, and certainly something that interests me and I would like to do in theory. But when I think about it practically, I don't want to start over so soon, I don't want to sit at a desk, I don't want to follow the path for which most of my socio-economic and intellectual class is destined. On the other hand, I feel as though I have to put my college degree to use, and as one with the opportunity to help in ways I do feel strongly about, I can't fully get behind this "selfish" way of life I've adopted. On the other other hand, I know I wouldn't be happy, at least right now, making those choices, and isn't that worth something?
This mountain life takes a certain kind of person. Most people I've known wouldn't thrive in these conditions; most out here make their livings in trades specific to a resort and tourist town - no consulting firms or I-banking. "Ski bums," for lack of a better word, at least those of us who are highly educated, have made the conscious decision to reject the conventional and opt for something outside-the-box. It will be interesting to see how many, if any, of us go on to stay for longer than a year or two. I can't stay here forever, but it's certainly not a bad way to spend some time. And who knows how I'll feel about my "future" after that?
Excessive mental angst and waffling about the path I want my life to take. But do I really have any control over that?
A few phone interviews for "opportunities" in the Middle East and I have been philosophizing about this whole way of life. Of course, taking the "real" job at the do-gooder organization is nothing to sniff at, and certainly something that interests me and I would like to do in theory. But when I think about it practically, I don't want to start over so soon, I don't want to sit at a desk, I don't want to follow the path for which most of my socio-economic and intellectual class is destined. On the other hand, I feel as though I have to put my college degree to use, and as one with the opportunity to help in ways I do feel strongly about, I can't fully get behind this "selfish" way of life I've adopted. On the other other hand, I know I wouldn't be happy, at least right now, making those choices, and isn't that worth something?
This mountain life takes a certain kind of person. Most people I've known wouldn't thrive in these conditions; most out here make their livings in trades specific to a resort and tourist town - no consulting firms or I-banking. "Ski bums," for lack of a better word, at least those of us who are highly educated, have made the conscious decision to reject the conventional and opt for something outside-the-box. It will be interesting to see how many, if any, of us go on to stay for longer than a year or two. I can't stay here forever, but it's certainly not a bad way to spend some time. And who knows how I'll feel about my "future" after that?
Steamboat Things
Excuses: losing my phone, working crazy hours, and sketchy wireless.
But at least life is *exciting*! On Tuesday, a collective day off, a few of us went to Steamboat to check out another mountain. As much terrain as Winter Park has, it was nice to be somewhere different. At least that's what I thought until we started skiing. The front side of the mountain was a legitimate ice rink, worse than anything we've had here all winter. After lunch we headed to the backside of the mountain (haha, backside) where the powder was deep and the trees were plentiful. Those few runs in and of themselves were worth the trip out. And it's quite a lovely drive. Sadly, though, I was as excited by the "big" town of Granby as a Kansan in New York for the first time. That's what a small town will do to you.
But at least life is *exciting*! On Tuesday, a collective day off, a few of us went to Steamboat to check out another mountain. As much terrain as Winter Park has, it was nice to be somewhere different. At least that's what I thought until we started skiing. The front side of the mountain was a legitimate ice rink, worse than anything we've had here all winter. After lunch we headed to the backside of the mountain (haha, backside) where the powder was deep and the trees were plentiful. Those few runs in and of themselves were worth the trip out. And it's quite a lovely drive. Sadly, though, I was as excited by the "big" town of Granby as a Kansan in New York for the first time. That's what a small town will do to you.
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